This weekend...

...I have been mainly sitting in traffic jams in a boiling hot car with two boiling hot children. Not one traffic jam but three separate ones on three separate days. Needless to say the car has no air conditioning and we chose one of the hottest weekends this year to visit my mother in Smallgrimtown-upon-Slagheap. The only saving grace of travelling at 3 miles an hour on the motorway was that we could wind the windows down in an attempt to cool down in some car fume infested breeze.

...I also discovered that zero key on my laptop has stopped working. This had two consequences. First I could not get online at the cut price hotel we were staying at because to do that I would have to pay £5 per hour and to do that I would have to put my card number in which of course contains a zero. Bah and double bah. Second my parentheses now have no end. I can start like so (but I cannot finish . So henceforth I am designating this - ^ to be my close brackets. For example: I thought £5 per hour for internet access was eminently reasonable (who am I kidding - what a bloody rip off!!^

...I was relieved that mother lived up to reputation of supplying at least one good line per trip. Last time she informed me that she had been to the cinema to see "Alcoholic Shopping". I thought it sounded like a brilliant idea for a film, or possibly a way of life, until I realised that she meant "Confessions of a Shopaholic". This time she told me that I didn't look like I was going to be 37. Which was a lovely compliment , especially since I will be forty next week. One might think that of all people you could rely on your mother to remember your age but apparently not so.

...I am currently praying to the god of traffic jams that we have done our time and that we can go on holiday tomorrow without being stuck in any more queues. While I am at it I have also asked the packing fairy to pop by and sort out our bags.

...I am wondering whether it is possible that someone has broken into my house and stolen only the suitcases.