Wednesday 13 May 2009

Know a good therapist?

After due consideration (all of about two seconds) I accept the invite to dinner from the Prince of Darkness. He cooked a delicious curry (although I swear I thought I saw him put Branston Pickle in it) and we talked and we laughed and we generally had a great time. Like I've said before I am not really sure where this is going. We have both been through periods where one of us has wanted to make a go of things and the other has knocked them back. Right now I am willing to try but he is the uncertain one.

My critical (rational?) voice in my head says "what the feck are you doing? Just end it. Move on. You don't need him. You have made a life without him. He left you. He could do it again. Get thee to a therapist....you have issues." But my heart answers with "what if I just hang on for a little longer and for the first time in two and a half years we both decide that we want the same thing at the same time?" What I do know is that right now when we see each other it feels like there is a chance for us. So I am going to see how this tangled mess that we have made unravels, for a little longer at least. What never ceases to amaze me is the capacity for two intelligent people, who profess to love each other, to invent new ways to stall, test and generally mess up their relationship.

In the meantime I think I might still need therapy. I may have some mothering issues as well as relationship issues. I took the eldest to the orthodontist today. She has, sadly for her, inherited her mother's rather random freestyle tooth arrangement. They had to take some pictures of her teeth. The final one involved her baring all her teeth and pulling her lips back. The dental nurse then stuck in what can only be described as "lip horns" (like a shoe horn but clear plastic and curved right over at the end). These were put on either side on of her mouth to pull the lips and face back even further. The results were astonishing. She was suddenly transformed from my beautiful girl to candidate for the lead roll in Resident Evil - Dawn of the Undead. My reaction was a violent fit of the giggles which despite/because of my best efforts to suppress ended up with me snorting and weeping in the corner of the room.

Is this a normal maternal reaction?

7 comments:

  1. I can empathize concerning the PoD. I have an a similar situation with one of my exes. I hope you find happiness no matter how that situation resolves itself.

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  2. "What never ceases to amaze is the capacity of two intelligent people, who profess to love each other, to invent new ways to stall, test and generally mess up their relationship."

    You hit the nail on the head with this one, Seaside Girl. I often wonder the same but haven't come to any meaningful explanations yet. I hope it all ends well for you, whatever you choose to do (re: PoD).

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  3. Thanks guys :-) Lovely comments.

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  4. You know, Hubby and I were always that way - I would be onto him and he would back away and then I would pull away because of this situation and he would be the one then who was trying.... I had commitment issues, which I can pin point to the date and people (there were more then one) that led me to that point. I still have those issues - I read far more blogs then I dare "commit" to following ;) Anyway - we broke up one Winter - never really got back together until he asked me to marry him.... I hope you have a far better story then that in the end. But, sometimes it is the issues that we let get in the way!

    Thank you for coming on over to my little bloggy spot - come often, I love company

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  5. I sympathize with you! I know what it is like to love someone but not know if you should be with that person. Best of Luck!

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  6. Hi Seaside!! I'm just a little bit in difficult with english so please, forgive my orrible mistakes!!! I've got two children, 9 and 8 aged, and both must have the orthodontic apparatus for their teeth... I understand you very very well!!! I asked the doctor if they'll speak normal again!!! We're mother okay, but we're human not robots! Best wishes for your dilemma!!!

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  7. Hi Chiara. Believe me your orrible mistakes in english would be nowhere near as bad as my orrible mistakes in italian! I think that their will be more giggles on the way with this orthodontist thing!

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